Ten reasons to focus your attention away from the ap, in lowercase

 ap, in lower case. The person who joined an unfaithful spouse in betraying you doesn't even deserve a capitalised label. 

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Thank you for being here, I am so sorry you are part of this universe of pain by infidelity. I stopped writing consistently many months ago, as I healed from my husband's betrayal. The one I discovered. 

Post affair, we learn that we can only trust ourselves and that love starts from within. We must take care of ourselves and love ourselves through compassion and nourishment of the body and soul. Only then will we become lovable. Once we start liking who we are becoming, who we CAN become, then we will attract people on a better frequency. 

I recently had an AHA moment after alcohol loosened my tongue during a philosophical discussion with friends and the thought of that ow made me make a statement about all working married women as being the female dogs. Not nice towards my fellow working women nor the female dogs. 

I decided during the hours that followed, that I wasn't going to let that thought invade my mind ever again. I wasn't proud of my statement and I applied self-compassion because that is what I have learned during affair recovery. 

Since then, I have been pondering how important it is to understand why these people are not worth it of our attention. We have the power not to let them rob us of our energy.

Without further ado, here are ten reasons why not to give the ex-ap any of your attention:

1. You can use that energy on thoughts or activities that will bring you joy
2. The ex-ap is probably not giving you any attention
3. It was your spouse who betrayed YOU, not the ap
4. Partner in crime could have been anyone who happened to be available at the time
5. You are a healthier person without the toxicity of the thoughts about the ap
6. You become a better company, even to yourself.
7. Your creativity is free to engage on projects that can bring you success in several areas of your life, including improving your finances
8. You walk on a greener, more colourful and beautiful path that can take you very far
9. You start feeling in control. There is a power shift. 
10. The ap no longer kidnaps your attention for longer periods that you allow. You know you have a choice and the choice is to look away

Much love,

Helen