Is it time to dock the boat of #AffairRecovery?

I am exactly eighteen months past DDay. What a journey it has been. In a nutshell, my husband had a two-year affair with a married co-worker. He gaslighted me as I became more suspicious. The twelve months leading to DDay were hell. I had a contingency plan in place since I experienced infidelity as a teenager with my parents. My husband reacted completely different from what I had seen in my youth. He ended the affair immediately and did everything to save our marriage.

It has been a bumpy road, or shall I say, rough seas to sail through, but I feel like it is time to dock the boat of Affair Recovery. I am entering the stage of the reality of my second marriage with the same husband. A husband who bears the same name but has been forever changed by this experience. And so have I.

What's next

• It is time to apply the techniques for better communication that we have learned from the trauma infidelity causes.  
• We are embracing a new marriage based on a choice we both made to commit to our relationship.
• Trust has taken a new meaning for me: I can only hope that what I see is what is and I am certain that I will be okay if I'm betrayed again. 
• I am ready to live every day at its fullest. I am grateful for this second chance I am giving our marriage and our family. 

Is there anything to add

This blog has been a tool for organising ideas, feelings and information that has helped me recover from my husband's affair. It has brought me close to other betrayed spouses and some remorseful unfaithful ones who have shared their experiences with me. I will forever be grateful to the blogosphere and social platforms for bringing us together. We have shared resources, stories, gifs and helped each other brainstorm while reminding ourselves that we are not in this alone. The Universe of pain is real. 

I don't think I have anything to add regarding affair recovery. Every person heals in their own time and way. I will be organising the ideas from the past five months and perhaps publish some of it here before making the third and last book of the series available to the public. 

Sailing through and beyond infidelity

Sailing through infidelity is the first book of the series and tells the story from suspecting to discovering and the first eight months past DDay. It has resources that helped me sail through the initial fog and confusion. 

Sailing beyond infidelity was a collection of articles I wrote between months eight and twelve past DDay. It is not available anymore. It will be replaced by a new book that I will announce soon.

It was at about ten months past DDay that I felt the affair didn't suck all the energy from my days. 

Docking the boat of Affair Recovery

Eighteen months since the affair stopped and fifteen months since we decided to work on recovery, it finally feels like I have learned the theory of how to heal from the trauma of infidelity. It is time to apply that knowledge and start living again. I am scarred and a year older and I have learned compassion towards myself and those I love. 

I hope you can find solace and hope in this blog and/or in the books. You can connect with me on Twitter as @SailingInfidel1 or on Instagram as @HelenTowerStayCalm. I also have a Facebook page @HelenTowerAuthor. I'll be updating them from time to time. 

Thank you for your company. 

Lots of love,

Helen