A trick to soothe your rage after infidelity
Twitter has been one of my long-lasting ways to communicate with other people who are going through the aftermath of discovering infidelity. Today, one of my tweeps expressed that she was feeling angry and wanted to call her husband to tell him how she was feeling.
Of course, letting the anger all out of your chest onto your ex-cheating husband is a great way to get over a rage attack. But sometimes it is not possible or it is not convenient and you realise this even as you are confronted with the feeling. So what can you do instead? Are there other ways to calm down apart from the common walk in nature, long shower, listening to music or aromatherapy?
Here's a way to transform your rage through love and compassion.
We are assuming that you are working on recovery with a remorseful spouse who was unfaithful but is now willing to gain your trust again. There are days when you feel like an idiot. You feel your spouse is taking advantage of you and that their life continues as if nothing happened. They are punishment-free after a serious offence that left your heart broken into a million pieces. And not only him or her, but also that third person who made themselves available for your spouse to have a connection away from home, while you were dealing with all the family commitments.
Here's the thing: It seems like REAL LOVE is more like parental love. If you are on the road to forgiving your remorseful spouse after infidelity, you have to compare your reaction of anger and aggravation with what you would feel if it was your own child or a child you love who committed an offence and it is now grieving about the consequences of their actions. Would you judge them the same way you're judging your spouse?
I bet the answer is no. With a child, you would be a lot more understanding and forgiving. I know your spouse is not your child but remember that you decided to stay with them because you LOVE them. And love is compassionate and patient, like a parent with a child.
Do this exercise and I promise your rage will decrease immediately. It is good for your health and good for your recovery. Let me know how it goes in the comments.
Hope this helps,
A Betrayed Spouse on the hopeful road to recovery.
Of course, letting the anger all out of your chest onto your ex-cheating husband is a great way to get over a rage attack. But sometimes it is not possible or it is not convenient and you realise this even as you are confronted with the feeling. So what can you do instead? Are there other ways to calm down apart from the common walk in nature, long shower, listening to music or aromatherapy?
Here's a way to transform your rage through love and compassion.
We are assuming that you are working on recovery with a remorseful spouse who was unfaithful but is now willing to gain your trust again. There are days when you feel like an idiot. You feel your spouse is taking advantage of you and that their life continues as if nothing happened. They are punishment-free after a serious offence that left your heart broken into a million pieces. And not only him or her, but also that third person who made themselves available for your spouse to have a connection away from home, while you were dealing with all the family commitments.
Here's the thing: It seems like REAL LOVE is more like parental love. If you are on the road to forgiving your remorseful spouse after infidelity, you have to compare your reaction of anger and aggravation with what you would feel if it was your own child or a child you love who committed an offence and it is now grieving about the consequences of their actions. Would you judge them the same way you're judging your spouse?
I bet the answer is no. With a child, you would be a lot more understanding and forgiving. I know your spouse is not your child but remember that you decided to stay with them because you LOVE them. And love is compassionate and patient, like a parent with a child.
Do this exercise and I promise your rage will decrease immediately. It is good for your health and good for your recovery. Let me know how it goes in the comments.
Hope this helps,
A Betrayed Spouse on the hopeful road to recovery.
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