I judged my mother wrongly for forgiving my unfaithful father

When my mother decided to take my father back after he had a two-year affair with his secretary, I thought she was co-dependent. I thought of my mother as an old-fashioned and rather lazy woman who chose convenience over independence. 

After my own husband was unfaithful and, in spite of my predetermined decision that I would leave him if he ever had an affair, I found myself giving our love a second chance. In the process, I also appreciated the value of what my mother did. She remained in the house so that her children could have a home. I was a young adult but my brothers were in their early teenage years.

I realised how important it is for the children to have a physical place where they feel they belong. My mother was not comfortable. She was the rock over which the family remained intact. She saved her marriage, my father and her family. That takes much strength and love.

Dear mum,

I'm sorry for defining you as co-dependent. You were the rock over which our home remained. Thank you for your strength and your selfless decision to give my father the chance to have a life with you again. I love you.

The daughter of an unfaithful who thought she had it all worked out in case it happened to her.