Growing through #Infidelity

Being able to appreciate the growth that comes out of infidelity is probably one of the signs that you have healed to the point where you are now able to help those around you in the Universe of Pain.

I can't get enough of the Five Gifts for Healing from Disaster by Dr Laurie Nadel as a tool to overcome the challenges of having been betrayed by my husband, Mark.

Dr Nadel explains how growth is one of the last stages of recovery, as in when we feel stronger than ever. We feel that we lived up to the challenges that were imposed on us and we came out of the battles feeling victorious. 

It seems that when we have reached the stage of acceptance while grieving our old self, our failed marriage and the trust that we had on our unfaithful spouse, then we are able to help others.

Infidelity is not prescribed by any therapist as a treatment for growth but, unfortunately, is one the options from the box of painful events that we might encounter in life. Some people face the death of a loved one, a chronic disease, physical pain or financial bankruptcy. A betrayed spouse faced also the pain of infidelity.

I better understand this concept now that I am almost 19 months from DDay. I don't blog or published books as a means to brag. I started writing because I knew the healing power of writing. I had already self-published six books with my autobiography and other stories that shocked me from people close to me.

Some of the stories were about love and divorce. Some were about migrating, fitting in, parenting and even politics. I have experienced the benefits of facing the pain or the fear caused by some events around me through writing. It couldn't have been any different with infidelity.

Writing anonymously has felt safe, rewarding and it has some magical healing powers. The feedback that I get from other betrayed spouses soothes my pain better than Aloe vera soothes burnt skin. The paperback versions of my books have travelled to far away lands to find readers who feel identified with my experience.

To those people who have found my books or this blog just searching for answers on the web, I send you my love. I see where the hits on the blog come from. Infidelity is everywhere.

I especially thank those of you who leave a comment here or on my social posts. Some of you message me in private and share part of your story with me. I feel humbled and grateful for your trust in me.

Let's continue to grow together. After infidelity we are better equipped to face any challenge life might through at us. Let's hope that we will be facing many happy and healthy days with our families and friends before drama strikes again.

Lots of love,

Helen

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