Who should love you the most after #infidelity

It’s been five and a half years since I found proof my husband was having an affair with a married colleague. I am about to become a grandmother and I have never felt more in charge of my life than today. 

I wanted to share that learning to love myself above my husband and anyone else in my close family circle, has been the most empowering experience ever. 

I have explained how I was born afraid of not being loved by my parents and I became a people pleaser. Then I became the perfect wife so that my husband would keep loving me pass parenting and career development. In the process, I lost myself and found it again after burning out to the claim that women could have it all.

I decided to enjoy just being a wife and a mum but failed to defend my need for sharing my intellect with the world in a way that would be acknowledged by my surrounding environment. The globosphere wasn’t a means to the end that I was craving for, feeling the energy from the admiration of those around me. 

This may sound like a me, me, me post and I am not apologising. I want anyone who is reading and believes in sacrifice as a means to feeling loved to stop and rethink. 

After decades of pleasing I am a more considerate, compassionate and giving person because I am not expecting approval or acknowledgment from those in my family. I have taken full responsibility for parenting my inner child and for covering all her physical and emotional needs so that she can thrive. 

This has helped my adult and parental side to be stronger and kinder. 

If you are here for the first time, feel free to read my articles that started in 2018 when I discovered my husband’s affair.

Since then, we have separated, bonded histerically and re-united on a journey that has allowed me to enjoy the benefits of his successful career while retaking my own and we are now facing together the challenges of ailing parents and becoming grandparents ourselves. 

Keep walking, take care and know that, whatever you are facing today, it will pass. 

Lots of love,

Helen